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I'm straight as a circle! - Affliction

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WHY do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Post By CheckMate
Nov 3, 2006, 11:43am

2 things I miss about school
1) Ultimate Frisbee in the mud!

2) Playing in the snow during cancelled classes.
Post By (v)orpheus
Oct 30, 2006, 10:12am

Show Desktop
I know Phil is dieing for the CAL forums to start this back up, but I thought I would do it here as well. Let's see what you have for your desktops.

NOTE: images may make your screen scroll to the right. Ideally, I would love for you to provide a link to your image (i.e. upload to your gallery).
Post By (v)orpheus
Oct 23, 2006, 10:42am

Persistent with the forums games
I am not giving up yet becuase i like something to do other than work, and noone has anything to say anymore so heres another attempt...

This one could be pretty lame or funny.. well see how it ends up

The forum three line story game

Rules: You can only write 3 WORDS and cant post twice in a row

Post By CheckMate
Oct 20, 2006, 2:15pm

New Forum Game
My New Forum Game Coming Soon:

Bought a board game off of the net a few weeks ago, called why did the chicken..?
Its a game that you choose three cards, one question and the other 2 nouns, then you have to come up with the funniest joke answer or pun, and one person is the judge.

So my idea is to keep the forums lively, and to pick three cards every once in a while and post them on the forums, then have everyone submit a maximum of three answers. After lets say a limit of 3 days, the forums will then convert to everyone being the judge, and you vote for the one you found the funniesst or most clever.

2: No More than 3 answers per person
3: No Duplicates, first person to post gets the credit, so try not to do one very similar either.
4: More rules to come if necessary

Well have 2 days of voting, then votes will be added together, and winner is chosen.

Prizes for winning:
Umm... lets see here. Id say they get a dollar off the amount they have to pay for server, but we prepayed for 3 months, so thats no good.
Any Suggestions on prizes? We can just keep track of everyone score and have it posted on the main page.

Well not sure if this kind of game floats your boats, I have a lot of fun playing the board game. we can see how it goes i guess. Post your comments now so i know the feedback. Thanks

Post By CheckMate
Oct 4, 2006, 4:34pm

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